God Buys Himself A Billboard


Now hear this: God loves gays. God loves gays so much he’s going to put up a billboard in Topeka, Kansas, to make sure the Westboro Baptist Church gets that message. It seems there have been some communication problems between Heaven and the Westboros in the recent past, and God thinks this billboard will keep them in the loop of modern Christian thought going forward.

westThough his likeness and quotable quotes have appeared in direct ad campaigns throughout the world, as far as I can determine, the God Loves Gays billboard will be the first direct ad buy by God himself. Since the Westboro members most often communicate by signs and placards, a large, colorful billboard in their home town will ensure God’s message of gay love will be seen and understood by the group.

Fans and followers of God, both gay and straight, have acclaimed God’s new plan to confront the Westboro Church directly. Said one of the volunteers working to make the billboard a reality:

“God is tired of having hate-speech put into his mouth by bigots.”

Many are hoping God will go even further in his billboard campaign, perhaps erecting one to inform Pat Robertson the reason he sends hurricanes is to show his displeasure for the way the Robertson Christians pass judgement on gays. Or one to remind Justice Roberts that gay people who desperately want to marry are dying with their dreams unfulfilled, waiting for the court to either rule or lift the stays on marriage equality.

One humorous side note concerning God’s decision to erect a God Loves Gays billboard? Heaven has been run for an eternity on the currency of empathy and selfless acts. God’s surprise order means project directors are suddenly scrambling to raise cash – although one unconfirmed rumor says Harvey Milk was so excited about the billboard that he offered to melt down his golden halo for start-up money.

billbFortunately, Heaven’s representatives have found another way to raise funds – an Indiegogo campaign. As of this morning, they had raised almost $60,000, that’s $10,000 more than their goal. It’s enough for the Topeka billboard, which they hope to have up in October. The rest will go to The Trevor Project, which provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention to the at-risk LGBT youth God has been so worried about lately.

Now if the Westboros will only let God’s message of love sink in…

Heaven did not immediately reply to our inquiry asking whether God might consider a defamation lawsuit, or even a traditional plague of boils if the billboard doesn’t succeed in adjusting the attitude of the Westboro Church members.

You can watch the God Loves Gays campaign video below:

Photo from YouTube

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s